Stylish Thongs catch Hopton with their pants down!
As the Mirfield League season draws to a close reigning champions Thongsbridge bounced back into the title race with a top drawers performance against league leaders Lower Hopton ‘A’. For Hopton Ash Tattersley’s 21-12 against ‘Long Jon’ Sneddon was the highlight of an otherwise underwhelming night. Thongs looked more like boxers as the 21s piled in. James Davison seemed to have the block on a (G) string to win 21-8, claiming his prize of a glimpse of Nora’s stockinged ankles. Thongsbridge 10 Hopton 2. Are Hopton’s knickers in a twist or will they still manage to give Thongs the slip?
Hopton’s second string defeated the Crossgates chicken chompers by the narrowest of margins, just a single chalk, to improve their hopes of staying up for a second season in the big time. Not many B teams include county players in their ranks, but Gary Wike once again came good for Hopton ‘B' with a 21-8. Speaking of county, Gaz Lally once again won to single figures (21-9) for Crossgates. It won’t have escaped the Yorkshire selectors that that’s five on the bounce now for Gaz. Lower Hopton ‘B’ 7 Crossgates 5.
Denby Grange endured another agonizing home defeat by 3 chalks to Dearne Sports who bowled an unfamiliar away green like locals. All-round nice bloke Rob ‘Taxi’ Wiltshire starred for Dearne with a stunning 21-5 (taxi for your columnist!). Two 21-20 wins and two 21-19s piled on the agony for Denby. Paul Bailey saved game three times, once with a strike that obliterated the end, the playing fields and the whole of Sitlington Parish. Sitlington was originally known as ‘Shitlington’ (FACT! – I looked it up on Wikipedia!) and that just about sums up Denby’s night. Colin ‘Comeonbaby’ Scorah’s 21-6 won the kitty for the home side, who then took revenge on Dearne over six yards or so on a carpet in the Black Swan** Dearne elder statesman Chappers left Sitlington parish a happy man. Denby Grange 4 Dearne Sports 8. Shitlington!
** You can watch highlights of the main event here! https://www.facebook.com/theblackswanoverton/videos/9184051054
No such profanities over on Dewsbury Road as Ossett Flying Horse overcame Crosland Moor 9-3. The result hides a few tight games that went Fly’s way for a change and these results are vital. With a recent upturn in form, can Fly mount a fightback and save their skins? Ian ‘Speedy Gonzales’ Shuttleworth was the star for Fly with 21-8. Nathan Haigh’s 21-4 is a top notch result away on a tricky wicket for Crosland Moor. 13 points from safety and three games left – can Fly do it?
Our last game in Division 1 was also a tight affair over at Littlemoor, with noisy neighbours Pudsey BC the visitors for a local derby that always sets the heart pumping. Two 21-20 wins for Littlemoor were massive. Paul Jacques, a Littlemoor stalwart, ground out a 21-12 that sent his side towards an aggregate victory. In a battle of two great characters, Jon ‘Pinky’ Edmondson top-scored for ‘Top Club’ with a 21-14 against Martin ‘Fullofit’ Fulton. According to Fullers, he was bowling so close that his woods were actually eating the jack pac-man style but, alas, the ambidextrous one claimed the Pudsey BC kitty. Littlemoor 8 Pudsey BC 4. ‘Top Club’ might have been just geography on the night, but the league table says different.
Positions after 15 games:
Lower Hopton WMC ‘A’ 117
Thongsbridge C&BC 115
Crossgates BC 104
Pudsey BC 99 (played 14)
Dearne Sports 93
Littlemoor 84
Crosland Moor 74 (played 14)
Lower Hopton WMC ‘B’ 72
Denby Grange 71
Ossett Flying Horse 59
In Division 3 our local side Ossett C&AC continue their promotion chase following a vital 10-2 home win against fellow challengers Littlemoor ‘B’. Former Dolph Lundgren look-a-like Craig Hebbard sneaked a 21-17 for Littlemoor to claim their sweep. For Ossett Cricket, Rob Dunford had to share this week’s kitty with Martin Cross (both 21-10). As I don’t have a photo of Martin you’ll have to make do with Dunf again. Here you go, folks!
Horbury WMC remain at the foot of the table, although the men from Cluntergate do have a game in hand. Faced with a visit from league leaders Dodworth, Horbury were soundly beaten 8-4 on the night. Arthur Clarkson was the top card for Horbury with 21-12. For the Barnsley visitors Ian Dowle and evergreen Dave Mallinson gave their opponents the chop, both recording 21-4 away wins and sending the aggregate back down the M1.
It was clash of the titans in Division 4, with leaders Thornhill hosting second-placed challengers Farsley. Farsley sneaked a couple of close games, along with Danny Beardsworth’s 21-15. This is the Mitchells’ manor, though, and before you could say, “Ere, did you set fire to my pub?!” Ryan Mitchell’s 21-7 clinched the Thornhill kitty. Thornhill 9 Farsley 3. Thornhill sit top of the league.
Ossett Flying Horse ‘B’ conclude this week’s round-up with an away trip to Mirfield Old Bank. Mark McGuire managed an impressive 21-7 away win for the Fly. Andrew Foggo appeared through the mist to clear the air with a resounding 21-1 for Old Bank. Mirfield Old Bank 8 Ossett Flying Horse ‘B’ 4. It’s still very tight down the bottom of this division.
Folks, there are three weeks left and I’m returning full-time to my day job! I’ll try to keep this going until the end of the season. It’s mostly the same jokes every week anyway! Hopefully see you round the greens next week.